Letting Go of 2019 + Starting a New Decade

 

We're at the end of another year. As I've said before, it seems to come round quickly, those last few months from September to December seem to just fly by! The past couple of years I've written posts about letting go of the year. You can read them below

Letting Go of 2017: https://fallingpetalsuk.blogspot.com/2017/12/letting-go-of-2017.html

Letting Go of 2018: https://fallingpetalsuk.blogspot.com/2018/12/letting-go-of-2018.html

I write mid year reflection posts as well, and it's already 6 months since I wrote this year's. Now it's time for the post about letting go of 2019 and getting ready for 2020. As with the past posts, I started writing this a few days ago and now I'm finishing it on New Year's Eve. We're also entering a new decade, so I'll reflect on that too. :)

Gratitude List

Things I'm grateful for this month:

Chocolate advent calendars!
Buses
Yule/the Winter Solstice
YouTube
Helpful people
Making new friends
Christmas
Hot chocolate

Manifesting and Mental Health- Part 2

Note: This is a post about the Law of Attraction (LOA). For a background on LOA click here. :)

Disclaimer: I'm not a doctor, so if you're having mental/physical issues please seek medical help in addition to reading this. :)

In August I wrote about manifesting and mental health. I decided to break it up into a couple of parts because there was quite a lot to cover. You can read Part 1 here: https://fallingpetalsuk.blogspot.com/2019/08/manifesting-and-mental-health-part-1.html

In Part 2 I'm going to look more at manifesting while dealing with mental health issues. Sorry it's taken me a while, just not had much inspiration lately. :)

Since writing the first post I went through a bit of a hard time. I wrote a bit about it in this post called When You're Struggling: https://fallingpetalsuk.blogspot.com/2019/10/when-youre-struggling.html

I felt like I'd fallen down a pit. I am feeling a bit better now, but up and down. Part of it is shifting into autumn and the cold season. Since I have Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), I do find the colder months more depressing. I wrote a little bit about it over on my other blog The Seasonal Life.

So when people are always telling you to "be happy now" it can get you down. I've found this post by Kelsey Aida about why you don't have to feel good all the time to manifest helpful: https://kelseyaida.com/theinspirationalblog/why-you-dont-have-to-feel-good-all-the-time-to-manifest

The main thing I've found with manifesting while dealing with mental health challenges is that you're already feeling quite down and you're struggling (at times it feels to me like "wading through sludge"), so when it comes to staying optimistic and "raising your vibration" it can be hard. Also those of us with mental health conditions should be careful because we don't want to end up making ourselves feel worse. I came across a post about how the idea of manifesting can be bad for mental health. You can read that here: https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/zmapne/the-idea-of-manifesting-your-future-may-be-bad-for-mental-health

Gratitude List

Things I'm grateful for this month:

Going to a belly dance workshop with Lianna Greene
Going to Meetup events at Tom Foolery in Shoreham and Cote Brasserie in Brighton
Last of the autumn leaves and colours
Sunny autumn days- we've had a lot of rain lately, so I'm grateful for sunny days!
Leeor Alexandra videos
Inspirational blog posts- check out my Nov Update post on my other blog for some links I found useful. :)
McDonald's Millionaire's latte and Costa's gingerbread and cream latte
Christmas decorations and trees in the shops- it's a bit early for me to get into the Christmas spirit, but still nice to see!

Gratitude List

Things I'm grateful for this month:

Autumn colours
Trying a new belly dance class
Doing a short mindfulness course
Going for brunch with a new Meetup group
New Are You Afraid of the Dark? starting soon!
Hallowe'en doughnuts and chocolates! 
Pumpkins
Hallowe'en/Samhain coming up

When You're Struggling

 

I'm currently working on a couple of other posts but since I've been going through a bit of a hard time lately, I thought I'd start with one on the subject of feeling better when you're struggling.

Disclaimer: I'm not a doctor, so if you're having mental/physical issues please seek medical help in addition to reading this. :)

I've been up and down this year, but been feeling quite depressed for much of the time. I have depression and anxiety and have times when one or the other is worse. In late summer my boy cat died which made things worse. I'd lost his sister two years before. :( I also become a bit more depressed transitioning into autumn, because I'm a summer person and have a bit of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) during the winter.

Since last year I've been attending courses and classes at my local mental health resource centre and it does help. I also look for ways to manage the depression and anxiety. But sometimes I feel at a low ebb and struggle to see the point in anything. If you're feeling the same, I hope that some resources I share here can help you. :)

 

Update 14/10/22: I have removed some links that no longer work to tidy this post up a bit and intend to add more in the future. :)


Important: If you are feeling suicidal here are some links to where you can find people qualified to help you right now:

http://lostallhope.com/help-me


UK/UK and Ireland specific:

Samaritans: https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help-you/contact-us

NHS links (UK based): https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/suicide/ 

Childline (for children and young people): https://www.childline.org.uk/info-advice/your-feelings/mental-health/suicide/


Australia and New Zealand: https://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/emergency-help/  

 
US and UK: https://psychcentral.com/lib/common-hotline-phone-numbers


International:

https://ibpf.org/resource/list-of-international-suicide-hotlines/

 
https://www.befrienders.org/other-helpline-organisations

https://www.nowmattersnow.org/help-line

https://metanoia.org/suicide/


Update 4/11/19: Here's another helpful link: https://www.helpguide.org/articles/suicide-prevention/are-you-feeling-suicidal.htm

Gratitude List

Things I'm grateful for this month:

Meetups
Having afternoon tea at The Grand (I've wanted to visit for ages)
New show Teen Mom: Young and Pregnant UK starting and new series/season of Teen Mom 2
Madron/the Autumn Equinox
The start of autumn
The leaves starting to turn on the trees

A year ago I wrote an extra gratitude list because Madron, also known as Mabon and the Autumn Equinox, is a time of thanksgiving. I've been struggling a bit these past couple of months, but gratitude is supposed to help. I do like writing these monthly gratitude lists. :) So here are 10 extra things I'm grateful for:

1. That I live in a country where you get a variety of seasons
2. Discovering new music
3. Having had cats in my life <3
4. The sky and clouds
5. Summer- my favourite season
6. Parks
7. Belly dance
8. My family and friends
9. Lovely people I've met online
10. Technology that makes life easier

Also here's a recent photo I took at the park just after Madron:

Buckingham Park, Shoreham-by-sea.

What are you grateful for? :)

Manifestation Story- The Grand

Note: This is a post about the Law of Attraction (LOA). For a background on LOA click here. :)

Back in 2016 I wrote a post about manifesting some perfume I liked which had felt "felt out of reach" for me before. You can read that here: https://fallingpetalsuk.blogspot.com/2016/01/manifestation-story.html

Today I thought I'd share another "manifestation story". This time it's about The Grand Hotel in Brighton. :)

The Grand Brighton is a luxury hotel on the seafront. I've wanted to visit it for years but never had a chance to go, I couldn't afford to stay there or anything. (I did once know someone who worked there, so I suppose there was a slight link!). I put it on my Life List (like a bucket list) about 10 years ago! Last year I looked up afternoon tea there but it was quite expensive for me and I couldn't afford it at the time.

Gratitude List

Missed posting last weekend (due to a difficult time), so since today is the last day of the month, I'm posting on Saturday instead. :)

Things I'm grateful for this month:

Lammas
Last full month of summer
Hot weather
Action for Happiness "Happy Cafe"- went today.
Getting new flip flops
Having been a "cat mummy"
Going on the train
Buying some Peter Rabbit stickers from Paperchase!

Manifesting and Mental Health- Part 1

Note: This is a post about the Law of Attraction (LOA). For a background on LOA click here. :)

Disclaimer: I'm not a doctor, so if you're having mental/physical issues please seek medical help in addition to reading this. :)

In my LOA Round-up post I mentioned how I was planning to write about manifesting and mental health. You can read that post here: https://fallingpetalsuk.blogspot.com/2019/04/loa-round-up.html

So here is Part 1. I've decided to do it in a couple of parts because I feel like I can't cover everything in one post. :)

You'll often come across Law of Attraction articles, books and videos giving you a specific formula to follow and stories of the wonderful transformations that people have made. The problem is that a certain formula or way of doing things isn't going to work for everyone, because we're all different. We all have different life circumstances. I know you're supposed to be able to overcome all that by "raising your vibration" aka feeling better and changing your energy and beliefs, but what if it's not that simple? Sometimes you can try all these techniques but you just appear to be really STUCK. And what if you are going through a hard time and/or have a mental illness?

Gratitude List

Things I'm grateful for this month:

Going to Worthing Beach
Summer
Ice cream
BANKS' new album coming out
New series of Teen Mom UK starting
Hot weather and sunshine
Free chakra course from The Diary of an Empath that I've been taking
More Meetup events- it's nice to socialise more and meet new people.

Feeling Your Emotions- Neutral

 

This is the next post in the Feeling Your Emotions series. You can read the introduction here:
https://fallingpetalsuk.blogspot.com/2017/11/feeling-your-emotions-introduction.html

Disclaimer: I'm not a doctor, so if you're having mental/physical issues please seek medical help in addition to reading this. :)

I started this series in late 2017. So far I've covered what are deemed more "negative" emotions-  anger, sadness and depression, fear and anxiety and shame. The last post was in February, so it's been a while! As I said in the post Feeling Like a "Loser" (not part of the FYE series but kind of related), I feel that the next post should be a "neutral" one, so it's a sort of halfway point between the previous emotions, before moving onto the more "positive" ones such as happiness and love. 

I also mentioned the Abraham Hicks Emotional Guidance Scale, which you may have heard of if you follow the Law of Attraction (LOA). In LOA circles it's believed that it's not very easy to just "jump the scale" from something like discouragement (further down on the scale) to contentment (higher up). Kelsey Aida has a good introduction to the concept which you can see here: https://kelseyaida.com/theinspirationalblog/the-abraham-hicks-emotional-guidance-scale

Gratitude List

Things I'm grateful for this month:

The depression course I'm taking though Recovery College
Katie Holland's 5 Day Awakened Bellydance challenge and Nicky Clinch's Warrior Woman challenge
Having a strawberry creme frappe in the Mayberry garden centre coffee shop
Buses
It's Lauren Victoria's mental health posts- it helps to read others' stories
Litha/the Summer Solstice 
Hot weather- it finally feels like summer! (Although summer didn't officially start till the 21st, it's been cold for June, lol).
Meetup events

Mid-2019 Reflections

Last year I wrote a mid year reflection post. The year before I wrote one reflecting on the year so far in May and in 2018 I did it in June, because it's mid year. Read last year's post here: https://fallingpetalsuk.blogspot.com/2018/06/mid-2018-reflections.html

The past couple of years I've done posts at the end of the year too. You can read my Letting Go of 2018 post here: https://fallingpetalsuk.blogspot.com/2018/12/letting-go-of-2018.html

So now it's June again and I'm doing another mid year reflections post. :) It always seems like the year goes by quickly lately, and I think, "How is it June already?!". But some of the months seem to be long. Like April and May seemed to be quite long but the middle of the year has come quickly, if that makes sense! lol. On my other blog The Seasonal Life I've been doing monthly updates. Visit this link for May's update: https://livingseasonal.blogspot.com/2019/05/may-update.html

In the 2018 post I said how it took me a while to "settle" into the year, till about May. This year as I mentioned in the April Update on TSL, I started to feel better when spring came and the weather lightened up.

Gratitude List

Things I'm grateful for this month:

Beltane
Going to the beach and beach sunsets
New series Teen Mom: Young Moms Club
Eurovision
The hawthorn tree in my road blossoming
Roses coming out in my garden
Encouraging blog comments. :)
Longer days

Also thought I'd include a picture again this month. I took this when I went to the beach a few days after Beltane:

Lancing Beach at sunset

Feeling Like a "Loser"

 

I've had the idea for this post for quite a while, but haven't got round to writing it. I've been concentrating on my Feeling Your Emotions series and some of those subjects weren't easy to write about (such as anger and shame). I think the next FYE post will be a "neutral" one because I feel I need to get to some halfway point first before moving onto the more positive emotions such as happiness and love. If you follow the Law of Attraction you may have heard about the Abraham Hicks Emotional Guidance Scale, and how it's not very easy to just "jump the scale" from something like discouragement (further down on the scale) to contentment (higher up). I'll talk more about this subject in the next FYE post, but for now this post by Kelsey Aida (which I linked to in the Feeling Your Emotions intro post) explains it well: https://kelseyaida.com/theinspirationalblog/the-abraham-hicks-emotional-guidance-scale

I thought I would write a post about this subject before continuing with the Feeling Your Emotions series.

Disclaimer: I'm not a doctor, so if you're having mental/physical issues please seek medical help in addition to reading this. :)


Feeling like a "loser", i.e. not good enough (or less than, worthless) is something that is common for a lot of people. This is also tied to shame, feeling ashamed of yourself. You can read more on the subject of shame here (Part of the FYE series): https://fallingpetalsuk.blogspot.com/2019/02/feeling-your-emotions-shame.html

Gratitude List

Things I'm grateful for this month:

First full month of spring!
Hotter weather (before it went colder again!)
Blossom trees
Going to a Katie Holland belly dance workshop
Easter
Easter chocolate!
Marks and Spencer's Belgian chocolate toffee popcorn
Amina Makhdoom's 30 Day Joy Challenge- runs live every April

LOA Round-up

I've been studying and working with the Law of Attraction (LOA) for about 9 years now. I had heard about it before then because in 2008 I started a "Vision Pad" (like a vision board and I wrote a Life List in 2009 but I didn't really get more into it until 2010, after reading The Secret by Rhonda Byrne. I started more actively working with it in 2011.

In the past year or so I haven't posted much about the Law of Attraction. I've still been interested in it and trying out techniques but I haven't felt like writing much about it. I don't have any big success stories like some people do and have often felt like a "failure" in general. In late 2017 I started my Feeling Your Emotions series and I've mostly been concentrating on that.

But I've still been interested in LOA and trying out techniques.  A few months ago I joined a local Law of Attraction Meetup group and it's been good to talk about this subject in person.

Gratitude List

Things I'm grateful for this month:

Birthday presents and birthday wishes. :)
Tesco's red velvet cake
Going to Nando's for my birthday
Anxiety course I took through Recovery College
Oestara/the Spring Equinox
Starting a bullet journalling course
Trees starting to blossom
Sunny days lately after dreary weather

Gratitude List

Things I'm grateful for this month:

Imbolg
Clock Tower 3 and Haunting Ground (PS2 games)- been re-playing them.
Buying an iTunes voucher with my Maximiles points
Ariana Grande's new album coming out
The lighter, longer days- spring is coming!
Daffodils
Amy Tan's Where the Past Begins- currently reading it
Sunny days

Feeling Your Emotions- Shame

This is the next post in the Feeling Your Emotions series. You can read the introduction post here: https://fallingpetalsuk.blogspot.com/2017/11/feeling-your-emotions-introduction.html

So far I've covered anger, sadness and depression, and fear and anxiety. Now I'm moving onto shame.

Disclaimer: I'm not a doctor, so if you're having mental/physical issues please seek medical help in addition to reading this. :)

When I first started this series I had a vague order to do it in. I started out with the more "negative" emotions. I think it makes sense to write about shame now because it's something you can also feel along with the other emotions already mentioned. For example you may feel shame for being angry, sad or scared. It's quite a heavy emotion and I felt some resistance to writing this post, but I feel it's an important subject. So let's start by looking more closely at shame. :)


What is shame?

Shame is described as "a painful feeling of humiliation and distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behaviour", and a "regrettable or unfortunate situation or action" (Oxford English dictionary), "a painful feeling that's a mix of regret, self-hate and dishonor" (Vocabulary.com) and "a painful emotion caused by consciousness of guilt, shortcoming or impropriety" (Merriam Webster). We can feel shame ourselves due to something we've said or done (although this may be more like guilt, see below), or because we feel not good enough. We "shame" others for doing or saying something we believe is wrong, or that goes against the general rules of society and we also use phrases such as "That's a shame" when something doesn't work out as planned.

Shame is not a "core emotion". The basic emotions are said to be happiness, sadness, anger, fear, disgust and surprise. (They've been grouped further into "joy-sadness", "anger-fear", "trust-distrust" and "surprise-anticipation". In fact some people believe it's not an emotion at all but an experience, like depression and anxiety. (In this context I'll explore it as an emotion, like with depression and anxiety in my earlier posts). Read more about basic emotions here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/hide-and-seek/201601/what-are-basic-emotions

Gratitude List

Things I'm grateful for this month:

Presents I received at Christmas
Trying new products from ALDI and Lidl
Beautiful sunsets
Going to the beach- it was cold but I stayed for a bit and took some sunset pics!
Heavy Rain (PS3 game)- re-playing it currently.
Leftover Christmas chocolates and early Easter ones! lol.
New calendar and diary
New Teen Mom UK starting soon

I don't tend to post pictures with these lists but I did for the October Gratitude List, so thought it would be nice to share one of the sunset pics this month:

Sunset on Shoreham Beach.