Monday 27 May 2024

Feeling Powerless


For the past few years I've written a series of posts called Feeling Your Emotions, which explores different emotions and how we can work with them to feel better. You can see all the posts to date at the link below (or under the label "Feeling Your Emotions" when viewing the post):

Feeling Your Emotions Recap: https://fallingpetalsuk.blogspot.com/2022/09/feeling-your-emotions-recap.html

 

I've also written several "stand-alone" posts looking at other feeling states, such as feeling like a "loser", feeling lonely etc. I decided to have them as separate posts because they weren't core/basic emotions. I also recently wrote a post about feeling stuck.

For this post I thought I would take a look at feeling powerless and what we can do to move past that state, and feel better.

Disclaimer: I'm not a doctor, so if you're having mental/physical issues please seek medical help in addition to reading this. :)

 

What does it mean to feel powerless?

The definition of powerless (or powerlessness) includes "without power or authority" (Collins Dictionary), "the condition or feeling of having no power (Cambridge Dictionary) or "devoid of strength or resources" and "lacking the authority or capacity to act" (Merriam Webster).

 

Feeling stuck is also a form of feeling powerless. For more on that, check out my post Feeling Stuck (When Your Dreams Seem Far Away): https://fallingpetalsuk.blogspot.com/2024/02/feeling-stuck-when-your-dreams-seem-far.html

While researching for this post I came across some articles that also mentioned feeling helpless, but they are a bit different. To me, helpless seems a bit worse than powerless, like there's nothing you can do at all. Definitions of helpless include "unable to take care of yourself without help" (Oxford Learner's Dictionaries), "unable to manage independently" (Collins Dictionary) and "lacking protection or support aka defenseless/defenceless)" (Merriam Webster. Dictionary.com also uses powerless to describe helpless (2. "deprived of strength or power; powerless; incapcitated").

Here's a thread where people discuss the difference between powerless and helpless: https://english.stackexchange.com/questions/146581/whats-the-difference-between-powerless-and-helpless-and-maybe-hopeless


Why do we feel powerless? 

There are many reasons we can feel powerless, incuding situations in our own life (health issues, living situation, relationship problems, lack of money etc.) and the world at large (such as racism/discrimination, war, famine, the pandemic, public shootings, the cost of living crisis etc.). Some of these things we may have little or no control over. Uncertainty can be hard to deal with.

I do also feel that society in general pushes the idea that we are "unsafe" especially when it comes to things like being a "minority" (e.g. due to race/ethnic group, sexuality, or gender). While it's true that there are inequalities, I think that there must be better ways to deal with it, ways that empower people, rather than making us afraid.

For me personally, I've felt powerless because of situations in my personal life (having depression and anxiety- especially health anxiety- and generally feeling stuck) and because of things in the wider world (like the fact that despite the rise of social justice and antiracism movement, mixed race people still seem to be largely forgotten or ignored by the "mainstream"). And of course the pandemic has been a traumatising experience for basically everyone. 

Note: If you're experiencing issues such as discrimination and trauma, I provided links addressing these in my When You've Been Down for Too Long post (in the Feeling down section): https://fallingpetalsuk.blogspot.com/2022/02/when-youve-been-down-for-too-long.html


Regaining our power

In my opinion, all forms of self-help/personal development and spiritual practices (such as those related to the Law of Attraction and Law of Assumption are a way of trying to regain your power. We want to feel better and improve our lives and that's why many of us turn to self-help and/or spirituality.

I think we all have times when we feel stronger and more powerful than others. Coming together with others for a shared cause can help (such as activism), or when it comes to situations in our personal lives, it can help to be around others who understand how you feel.

I don't know your personal circumstances (although feel free to share if you'd like to), so I'm focusing on regaining power in general. Note: I mean in the context of our personal power. And I know it can be very hard to feel powerful in some circumstances, if you're living in a society where you are marginalised, for example. 

 

Here are some links with advice for when you feel powerless:

8 Things to Do if You're Feeling Helpless: https://www.verywellmind.com/things-to-do-if-you-feel-helpless-5093315

How to empower yourself when you feel powerless and helpless: https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to-empower-yourself-when-you-feel-powerless-and-helpless

How do we manage feeling powerless?: https://phoenixrisenblog.com/2023/04/16/how-do-we-manage-feeling-powerless/

Grounding techinques to use when feeling powerless: https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/memberarticles/powerlessness

Tips for when you're feeling powerless and overwhelmed due to world events: https://www.harleytherapy.co.uk/counselling/powerlessness-when-world-events-overwhelm.htm

 

I think that sometimes we just need to start at the "base" of things, so if you're feeling in a bad place it can help to get yourself on more of an even keel. Hopefully the posts linked above can help with that. You may also find these past posts of mine useful:

Starting From the Bottom- Part 1: https://fallingpetalsuk.blogspot.com/2021/04/starting-from-bottom-part-1.html

Starting From the Bottom- Part 2: https://fallingpetalsuk.blogspot.com/2021/08/starting-from-bottom-part-2.html  

When You've Been Down for Too Long: https://fallingpetalsuk.blogspot.com/2022/02/when-youve-been-down-for-too-long.html

 

Then once you're feeling better, you may feel ready to think about actively working on your mindset and feeling more empowered. Here are a few links to help with that:

How to be Powerful (video by Isabel Palacios): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TbZQkggz41Y*

How to take your Power back (video from R P): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mq_hsGUvTaA

A good post from Diana of The Chic Life about how you have the power to change your life (I also linked to this in the Feeling Stuck post: https://thechiclife.com/2023/12/you-have-the-power-to-change-your-life.html

Be Your Own Authority and Take Back Your Power (video by Tess Whitehurst): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a74IzKrrREY&t=10s

 

Update 15/6/24: Here is another useful video:

How to Take Your Power Back (The Spiritual Mermaid): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_6WtDUkKJG0

 

*Isabel's whole channel is actually about taking back your power. This video is an old one but you can find newer ones on her channel homepage: https://www.youtube.com/@IsabelPalacios


I hope you found the post helpful. :) I know that it can't be applied to all situations and there are some things that are more complex, but I hope it helped a little. What things do you do to feel better when you're feeling powerless? 

 

Find all the posts in the Feeling Your Emotions series here (or see the Feeling Your Emotions Recap post linked above): https://fallingpetalsuk.blogspot.com/search/label/Feeling%20Your%20Emotions

 

And here are the rest of the other posts relating to emotions (not part of FYE): 
 
Feeling Like a "Loser": https://fallingpetalsuk.blogspot.com/2019/05/feeling-like-loser.html


 
 
 


Photo: Buckingham Park, Shoreham-by-sea. Moonsparkle 2024.





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