When You've Been Down for Too Long

 

In the past I've written about feeling down and struggling, and also trying to improve your life. If you're trying to turn things around but dealing with long term mental health issues, had a lot of setbacks and/or just feeling consistently stuck, it can be really hard to move forward. Last year I wrote two blog posts about moving upwards when you've been in a low place. You can see them both here: 

Starting From the Bottom- Part 1: https://fallingpetalsuk.blogspot.com/2021/04/starting-from-bottom-part-1.html

Starting From the Bottom- Part 2: https://fallingpetalsuk.blogspot.com/2021/08/starting-from-bottom-part-2.html 

 

For a little while now I've had the idea for a post about feeling like you've been down for a long time. So that's what I'm writing about today. :)

Disclaimer: I'm not a doctor, so if you're having mental/physical issues please seek medical help in addition to reading this. :)

 

In the self-help world (and in general) there is a lot of focus on feeling better and improving your life but what if your life has felt bad (or at least not good) for a long time? What if you've been stuck in a cycle of depression, anxiety and things just not feeling "right" for years? 

Please note: If you are having mental health issues, please seek the advice of a doctor/mental health professional. I am not qualified to help, just someone who experiences mental health issues myself. :)

 

Important: If you are feeling suicidal here are a few links to where you can find people qualified to help you right now:

http://lostallhope.com/help-me

 

 

And direct links to organisations and helplines (international): http://lostallhope.com/links

 

UK and Ireland specific:

Samaritans: https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help-you/contact-us

Resources page of CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably); UK based, : https://www.thecalmzone.net/2021/01/cant-see-a-way-forward-were-here/

Note: CALM has a focus on preventing male suicide but it's not just for men, it has helpful resources for anyone. The helpline and webchat are only available to UK users but see below for international resources. :)

List of international mental health charities: https://www.thecalmzone.net/international-mental-health-charities

 

You can also read my post When You're Struggling: https://fallingpetalsuk.blogspot.com/2019/10/when-youre-struggling.html

 

I have had issues with my mental health (depression, anxiety and OCD) since I was a teenager, more than 20 years now. I find that I often feel up and down. I have been to the doctor, seen therapists, tried self-help and spiritual methods, tried spiritual healing and still find myself feeling stuck. So, if you have been in a similar situation, hopefully you will find this post helpful. :)

Feeling down

So first I'm addressing feeling down, low etc.

If, like me, you have been struggling with depression, I previously wrote two posts on that as part of my Feeling Your Emotions series (all about getting in touch with your feelings and emotions). You can read them below:

FYE- Sadness and Depression (Part 1): https://fallingpetalsuk.blogspot.com/2018/07/feeling-your-emotions-sadness-and.html

FYE- Sadness and Depression (Part 2):  https://fallingpetalsuk.blogspot.com/2018/08/feeling-your-emotions-sadness-and.html

 

I also wrote a post called Feeling Low in 2020: https://fallingpetalsuk.blogspot.com/2020/07/feeling-low.html

Please note that they're not a substitute for medical advice.  

 

A couple more posts about depression from other sites:

Helpful post about getting in touch with yourself when you've been depressed for a long time: https://zingara84.tumblr.com/post/73821785307/hi-laura-you-are-my-go-to-girl-when-it-comes-to

10 ways to change how you feel: http://meanttobehappy.com/10-ways-to-change-how-you-feel-beating-depression-into-submission/

 

Last year I started writing a post about despair. I didn't feel inspired to finish it but I did save a draft. While researching for that, I came across an interesting post about clinical despair. I'd never actually heard the term before, only "clinical depression". I thought I would share that post here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/evil-deeds/201103/clinical-despair-science-psychotherapy-and-spirituality-in-the-treatment

 

If you are feeling despair right now, here are a couple of posts about moving past it:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/articles/200309/removing-despair-depression

Post and video https://thechiclife.com/2020/03/how-to-get-out-of-despair-5-high-vibe-steps-to-get-out-of-negative-energy-and-feeling-hopeful.html

 

And here is a post from Blurt It Out in the form of a letter for when life feels pointless:  https://www.blurtitout.org/2019/03/14/letter-life-feels-pointless/

 

You may also be feeling depressed and held back by other things, such as trauma, experiencing discrimination, feeling stuck or as if you've "failed" in life. And also because of the current state of the world in general (the coronavirus pandemic, inequality/racial injustice and division etc.). I'm not able to address the first two examples on this blog (or the last one for that matter!), but here are a few related links:

Basic information about trauma and useful contacts: https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/trauma/about-trauma/

Amnesty International post about discrimination: https://www.amnesty.org/en/what-we-do/discrimination/ 

Useful contacts if you're experiencing discrimination at work (UK based): https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/legal-rights/discrimination-at-work/useful-contacts/

Update 22/2/22: I'd like to add this post from The Self-Love Rainbow (formerly Blessing Manifesting) which shares examples of trauma: https://www.selfloverainbow.com/examples-of-trauma

Also, if you're feeling down because you think that you haven't achieved much, or you just feel like a "loser" in general, here are a couple of links:

My post Feeling Like a "Loser": https://fallingpetalsuk.blogspot.com/2019/05/feeling-like-loser.html

Post about failure (found this through an old Wake Up Cloud post I'd saved): https://zenhabits.net/failed/

 

Feeling stuck 

Note: I'm referencing the Law of Attraction (LOA) in the section below. For basic info on it, visit this post: https://fallingpetalsuk.blogspot.com/2013/08/law-of-attraction.html

I have often experienced feeling stuck, struggling to make progress on goals and just in my life in general. I think this is quite common, especially when it comes to manifesting/working with the Law of Attraction. You wish your circumstances would change but you're told that the change needs to come from you (get happy first). But you just can't get happy!

I'd like to say (and remind myself) don't blame yourself. I don't mean not to take any responsibility for anything in your life, but don't beat yourself up if some things haven't worked out. We can often feel guilt and shame about ourselves and situations in our lives. If you are experiencing a lot of shame, here's a post in my FYE series about that: https://fallingpetalsuk.blogspot.com/2019/02/feeling-your-emotions-shame.html

 

Here are some helpful posts if you're feeling stuck:

8 important things to remember when you're feeling lost or stuck: https://www.yourpurposemuse.com/blog/8-hugely-important-things-to-remember-when-youre-feeling-lost-or-stuck-in-life

Things to remember when what you want feels out of reach: https://www.marcandangel.com/2021/01/05/10-things-to-remember-when-everything-you-want-is-out-of-reach/

Good post (with accompanying video) with advice for when you feel like nothing is happening: https://www.wakeupcloud.com/nothing-is-happening/

Post about how you always have a choice (previously linked to this in the Starting From the Bottom- Part 2 post): https://thechiclife.com/2021/07/you-always-have-a-choice-surprisingly-more-than-you-may-think.html

Unstuck: Create a New Path for Yourself (Zen Habits): https://zenhabits.net/unstuck/

 

How do you believe things will really get better?

This is something I really struggle with. Last year I wrote a post on belief (in the context of the Law of Attraction), about how to really believe in your dreams coming true. I've been working on my mindset, but if you feel like you've been "stuck down a hole" for a long time, it can be hard to believe in any positive change at all. In my Starting From the Bottom- Part 2 post (see above) and the LOA belief post, I linked to two videos on the subject of feeling good and manifesting good things. I'm sharing them again below:

Only Good Things Can Manifest Here. (Leeor Alexandra): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oLv1CnOECqc

Let Life Feel Good and MANIFEST EVERYTHING (Dominique of Brown and Bendy): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fNpztXMnh2k

 

I'm not focusing too much on LOA here though, because this is a general post. If you'd like to read the post about believing in your manifestations, here's a direct link: https://fallingpetalsuk.blogspot.com/2021/11/how-to-really-believe-loa.html

You might be in a mindset where you just don't believe that anything good can happen to you. Here's a post about that: https://www.thehopesup.com/2018/07/cant-believe-good-can-happen-to-you.html

In that case, maybe you could start small. I've previously written about gratitude but I don't currently have a regular gratitude practice apart from my monthly list on here. If I'm feeling really down, I even find that a struggle sometimes! In that case I might focus on something like "I'm grateful for the sky" or "sunsets". 

If you're finding it hard too, here is a practice you can try where you write down 3 good things that happened to you: https://ggia.berkeley.edu/practice/three-good-things

I'm going to have a go at this. I like the fact that you can only do it once a week if you want, since daily gratitude lists feel too much for me right now. (Well, you don't "have" to do it daily either, but setting a weekly gratitude goal is better for me.)

And here is a useful post on how to be hopeful (written during the early days of the pandemic): https://www.self.com/story/how-to-be-hopeful

I especially like the first part- "If it feels really hard to be hopeful right now, start by just acknowledging that."

 

You might also be so used to feeling down that you're frightened that if you get happy something bad will happen. I've written about this before in an LOA post. You could be used to feeling bad, so it's your "set point". Dominique (BrownandBendy on YouTube) has a really good video on this called How to MANIFEST through FEAR and subconscious programming: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBKdVS6ykkw

Although the main subject is manifesting (working with the Law of Attraction), she is also talking about fear and subconscious programming. She mentions the body's nervous system and how we could be running on fear-based programming. One thing she says in it that stands out to me is, "Your body is expecting fear and sadness and preparing for those feelings". 

You can check out Part 1 of my FYE- Fear and Anxiety posts for more on the nervous system: https://fallingpetalsuk.blogspot.com/2018/10/feeling-your-emotions-fear-and-anxiety.html

And here's the 2nd one if you want to read that as well: https://fallingpetalsuk.blogspot.com/2018/12/feeling-your-emotions-fear-and-anxiety.html

 

I think that's it for now! It's getting into a long post, lol. Hope you found this helpful. :) I've put an extra section at the bottom with a few more links. If you have been experiencing similar issues, how do you deal with them?

Extra resources:

All current posts in my Feeling Your Emotions (FYE) series: https://fallingpetalsuk.blogspot.com/search/label/Feeling%20Your%20Emotions

5 ways to be happy when you're hurting: https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/making-change/202201/5-ways-be-happy-when-youre-hurting

Post from Sarah Prout about remembering you are a transformational being: https://sarahprout.com/remember-that-you-are-a-transformational-being/

If you're living with chronic (long term/ongoing) mental illness you might find this link helpful: https://www.blurtitout.org/2020/02/20/coming-terms-chronic-mental-illness/

 

Photo: Goring (Worthing) Beach. Moonsparkle 2021.