When You're Struggling

 

I'm currently working on a couple of other posts but since I've been going through a bit of a hard time lately, I thought I'd start with one on the subject of feeling better when you're struggling.

Disclaimer: I'm not a doctor, so if you're having mental/physical issues please seek medical help in addition to reading this. :)

I've been up and down this year, but been feeling quite depressed for much of the time. I have depression and anxiety and have times when one or the other is worse. In late summer my boy cat died which made things worse. I'd lost his sister two years before. :( I also become a bit more depressed transitioning into autumn, because I'm a summer person and have a bit of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) during the winter.

Since last year I've been attending courses and classes at my local mental health resource centre and it does help. I also look for ways to manage the depression and anxiety. But sometimes I feel at a low ebb and struggle to see the point in anything. If you're feeling the same, I hope that some resources I share here can help you. :)

 

Update 14/10/22: I have removed some links that no longer work to tidy this post up a bit and intend to add more in the future. :)


Important: If you are feeling suicidal here are some links to where you can find people qualified to help you right now:

http://lostallhope.com/help-me

 

Update 11/10/26: Unfortunately, the Lost All Hope site appears to have gone, which is a real shame as it was a valuable resource for people experiencing suicidal thoughts (not to encourage people to commit suicide, but to give them hope and think things through before acting on those thoughts, hence the "Help me" page). But as mentioned in a Reddit thread, you can still access it using Wayback Machine: https://web.archive.org/web/20190501200524/http://lostallhope.com/help-me


UK/UK and Ireland specific:

Samaritans: https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help-you/contact-us

NHS links (UK based): https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/suicide/ 

Childline (for children and young people): https://www.childline.org.uk/info-advice/your-feelings/mental-health/suicide/


Australia and New Zealand: https://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/emergency-help/  

 
US and UK: https://psychcentral.com/lib/common-hotline-phone-numbers


International:

https://ibpf.org/resource/list-of-international-suicide-hotlines/

 
https://www.befrienders.org/other-helpline-organisations

https://www.nowmattersnow.org/help-line

https://metanoia.org/suicide/


Update 4/11/19: Here's another helpful link: https://www.helpguide.org/articles/suicide-prevention/are-you-feeling-suicidal.htm

Healing Health Anxiety- Part 2

Last month I started a series on healing health anxiety. You can read the first post here: https://fallingpetalsuk.blogspot.com/2016/10/healing-health-anxiety-part-1.html


In that post I spoke about what health anxiety (HA) is and looked at methods for healing it, concentrating on therapy and self help techniques. This time I'm looking at it from more of a spiritual perspective. So here we go. :)

Disclaimer: I'm not a doctor, just someone who has health anxiety, so please seek medical help in addition to reading this. :)
 
Update 14/11/23: I've removed and replaced some links to make the post look neater.

Understanding thoughts  

When you're worrying you can feel trapped by your thoughts, so it might help to read about thoughts themselves. Here's a good post and video by Kajal Pandey on understanding them: https://www.kajalpandey.com/blog/how-to-understand-your-thoughts/

 

Update 26/11/25: Kajal's original site is now gone but her YouTube channel is still there, so I'll link to her videos where possible because I really have found her work helpful. :)

How to Understand Your Thoughts (video): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uo115FLkb1o

 

Dealing with Manifesting Fears

So when you get into the Law of Attraction (LOA)/manifesting, you do it because there is something you want to manifest and you want to improve your life. I think that the big thing some people struggle with (including me) is believing that things are really possible. But what about when you start to manifest and it brings up fears? Maybe you find that you're afraid of getting what you want.

I've found that I have seen changes in my world but I've also become afraid once I've seen them because, while I really want to manifest things, I'm also scared of the changes they will bring. I think quite a few people have similar experiences. My fears are around relationships currently. Someone else's might be work/career, family, travel, moving house etc. You have thoughts like,  "Can I really handle this?", "What does it mean if it REALLY comes true?",  "How will my life change once it's here?" or "But what if I just can't do it??". I believe that this is part of the reason why we tend to have trouble manifesting "bigger" things. Getting a new games console didn't massively change my life (I manifested a PS3) but a new relationship will! Same goes for a new job, having a baby or travelling the world. I think a lot of us struggle with this thinking, so that's what I'm going to focus on today.

I'm not an expert on this at all because I'm working through it myself, so I'm going to share some links with some tips and advice that I've found helpful.:)

Anxiety Resources

Disclaimer: I'm not a doctor, so if you're having mental/physical issues please seek medical help in addition to reading this. :)

As well as depression I also have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and anxiety, in particular health anxiety. I know that many people have similar problems and it can be hard to deal with. Sometimes I feel better than others but the anxiety is pretty much constant. I've been interested in self help techniques for years and have been looking more up lately, so I thought I'd share some resources here. :)


General help for anxiety and related disorders


No More Panic

No More Panic is a website that has articles, a forum and chat room for people who have anxiety, depression, OCD, panic disorders and phobias and their carers as well. I've often used this when I've been in a panic about something.

IMPORTANT: If you have health anxiety and you are panicked about a symptom, try not to Google it because you can put a symptom in and it can come up with all sorts of diseases associated with it that you probably don't have. If you're really worried about something try doing a search on No More Panic or a similar forum rather than just doing a random search because you're more likely to get helpful advice. :)

Update 14/10/18: Just want to add that your first port of call should be a doctor if you're worried about any symptoms/medical conditions. :)

Raising Your Vibration (Or Feeling Better)

I've been reading a lot lately about raising your vibration. It's something that's talked about in relation to the Law of Attraction. A basic explanation of the Law of Attraction (also known as LOA) is that it's a universal law that means you attract everything in your life, good and bad as a result of the things you've been thinking, the beliefs behind those thoughts and the "vibrations" you're giving out. And if you change your thoughts and beliefs from negative to positive you can raise your vibration, which will lead to you feeling better and manifesting the things you want to have in your life.

So you raise your vibration so you feel happier and once you feel good then the things you want will come to you. I did a post last year about LOA which you can read if you're interested: https://fallingpetalsuk.blogspot.com/2013/08/law-of-attraction.html

Also here's another one about manifestation methods: https://fallingpetalsuk.blogspot.com/2014/09/manifestation-methods.html#more

The idea of raising your vibration is about doing things that you enjoy and make you feel good. Once you're in a "better feeling place" as it's called, then you can manifest the things you want. But I think that regardless of whether you want to manifest stuff or not, it's a good idea to do things that make you feel better. For a more in depth look at what raising your vibration means, check out these posts on Deliberate Receiving:

Update 28/2/19: Now MelodyFletcher.com

https://melodyfletcher.com/law-of-attraction/law-of-attraction-articles/how-to-raise-your-vibration/#axzz3Gbf9pzTP (This explains the basics)

https://melodyfletcher.com/2011/09/25/how-to-be-happy-all-the-damn-time/

https://melodyfletcher.com/2013/11/11/tips-to-drastically-raise-your-vibration-without-having-to-hire-a-coach/


And here's another post about feeling good from Life Made To Order: http://www.livelifemadetoorder.com/blog/law-attraction-friendly-vibration/


I wrote about something similar to this in my post Healing Tools. The things that I use to raise my vibration are similar to my "healing tools" because it's all about feeling better. My main methods are music, LOA, writing and Pinterest. I'm also going to add more things to the list in this post though and talk about actively using methods for raising your vibration. :)


Music

As I mentioned in the My Healing Tools post, I really love music. I listen to it a lot. I like CDs best (although they're becoming outdated now, lol) and also really like my iPod Shuffle. So if I'm feeling down I often listen to a CD or my iPod. I also visit YouTube and Spotify a lot. Music can really affect your mood. If you feel like something really upbeat you can listen to pop or if you feel like something melancholy you can listen to gothic metal/rock, lol. (Or whatever fits your mood). You can make a playlist of songs to help you chill out or cheer up. I have both a Chillout and a Pick Me Up CD.


Reading

I love reading as well. I like different types of books but my favourites are horror, short stories and books set in Asian countries (like India, China and Japan). A few years ago I got into teen supernatural fiction, lol. Books are good because if you're feeling anxious you can distract yourself by reading. I find it comforting sometimes to re-read a favourite book. With the library it's easy to access free books. When I was younger you used to be restricted to 4 a ticket but now it's something like 21! lol.


Self Help

I've been reading self help books and websites since I was a teenager. I started out looking for help with depression and OCD but then I got into personal development. If you're feeling low it can help you to find books and sites that suggest solutions and different ways of thinking.

Here's a list of my Top 10 Self Help/Personal Development blogs: https://fallingpetalsuk.blogspot.com/2013/05/top-10-self-helppersonal-development.html

Gratitude List

Things I'm grateful for this month:

Summer
The hot weather
Salt and sweet popcorn
McDonald's new chocolate chip iced frappe 
Living near the country
The Map book by Boni Lonnsburry- I've been re-reading it. (See this post for more on it: http://fallingpetalsuk.blogspot.co.uk/2013/08/law-of-attraction.html#more)
The honeysuckle and rose hand cream I bought at Roundstone
Dance Moms starting again

Depression Resources

I have been feeling more depressed lately, it comes and goes. Sometimes I feel better than others. I'm signed up to Strong Inside Out's newsletter and I recently received an email with the latest post which is about depression triggers. I thought I would post it here in case it's helpful to anyone: http://stronginsideout.com/5-depression-triggers/

The triggers on the list for me would probably be 4. Lack of sleep (I go through phases of having trouble sleeping) and 5. Refusal to Look at the Bright Side (I can be very negative at times!). I don't drink much or do high intensity workouts. I don't eat breakfast very often but I think No 5 is the biggest trigger for me.


Another good resource about recovering from depression is this article on Danny Baker's site*:
 http://www.depressionisnotdestiny.com/dear-depression-sufferers-unfortunately-youre-probably-not-seeking-the-right-help/**


I think No 3 which mentions reading self help books and doing online therapy is a good suggestion. I've read a lot of self help books. I did use to do exercises on MoodGYM (it was suggested to me by a therapist) but I haven't for ages. It might be time to go on there again.

Danny also has a free memoir about his recovery from depression that you can download.

Hope those links are helpful and I may do another post in the future with more resources. :)



Photo: Worthing Beach. Copyright Moonsparkle 2010.






*Not the British journalist DJ and presenter (like I thought originally) but a different one! lol.

**Site now gone (as of June '18).

My Healing Tools

I've had depression since I was about 14, also OCD and anxiety since around the same time. I got into self help when I was in my late teens/early 20s because I wanted to feel better. I go through phases of feeling better than others and I do feel better now than I did a few years ago. I still struggle though, with having good days and bad days and I'm not at the point where I'd like to be. But some days I feel happier than I did, so that's a positive.


I thought I'd share a few of the things that have helped me, my "healing tools". I hope that someone else will find them useful. :)


Music

I love music. I've been really into it since I was about 12. (Before then I did like it but I didn't listen as much). I think the first single I got was Belinda Carlisle's Love In The Key of C (cassette tape) and the first album I bought was Mariah Carey's Butterfly (tape). The first CD single I bought was Solid HarmoniE's I Wanna Love You. I like different types but my favourites are pop, R'n'B, rap and foreign language like Hindi, J-pop and K-pop. I enjoy listening to music and getting lost in it.

Lots of people recommend meditation as a spiritual tool and to help you relax but I've never been that keen on it. I do meditate occasionally (I recently followed the May Cause Miracles course and meditation was a big part of that) and sometimes I enjoy it more than others but I find it much more relaxing to listen to music.

If you're into music and want to hear some relaxing pieces, I'd recommend Ivo Sedlacek's violin music. Here's Dance of Autumn Lights: Ivo Sedlack- Dance of Autumn Lights

I often post that about music on my  blog Star Sparkle Blog, so check that out if you're interested: http://starsparklex.blogspot.co.uk

Law of Attraction

The Law of Attraction (LOA) is a universal law that means you attract everything in your life, good and bad as a result of the things you've been thinking, the beliefs behind those thoughts and the "vibrations" you're giving out. That's on the most basic level. According to LOA, if you change your thoughts and beliefs from negative to positive, you will raise your vibration and feel better, which will allow you to get the things you want in life. You can do this through a process called "manifesting". You can also just use it as a way to work through your negative beliefs and feel better; just improve your life in general. There are lots of ways to manifest, including affirmations, visualisations, using a "Vision Board", writing intentions and gratitude lists. What you want to do is "flow energy" towards the thing or experience you want to have and these are all ways to help you do that. It's similar to magic really, when you perform a spell or ceremony you're focusing intent. Let's look at the different techniques.

Update 10/8/24: This post is 11 years old, so now links or sites have changed. I've updated links where I can. :)


Affirmations 

An affirmation is a statement that you can use to improve your life. You can use them to make you feel better about yourself and/or manifest something you want. For example you could say affirmations for things you want to believe about yourself such as, "I am a worthwhile person", "I am beautiful" or "I deserve all the good things in my life". Or you could use them to help manifest things that you want e.g. "I am in a wonderful relationship with my loving boyfriend", "I love my new job in advertising" or "I adore driving my bright blue New Mini Cooper/Subaru Impreza/BMW/insert car" (lol). The idea is that you read the affirmations over and over (people often recommend reading them out loud) until they sink into your consciousness and you believe them, and then the things you said start to come true.