Feeling Like a "Loser"

 

I've had the idea for this post for quite a while, but haven't got round to writing it. I've been concentrating on my Feeling Your Emotions series and some of those subjects weren't easy to write about (such as anger and shame). I think the next FYE post will be a "neutral" one because I feel I need to get to some halfway point first before moving onto the more positive emotions such as happiness and love. If you follow the Law of Attraction you may have heard about the Abraham Hicks Emotional Guidance Scale, and how it's not very easy to just "jump the scale" from something like discouragement further down on the scale) to contentment (higher up). I'll talk more about this subject in the next FYE post, but for now this post by Kelsey Aida (which I linked to in the Feeling Your Emotions intro post) explains it well: https://kelseyaida.com/theinspirationalblog/the-abraham-hicks-emotional-guidance-scale

I thought I would write a post about this subject before continuing with the Feeling Your Emotions series.

Disclaimer: I'm not a doctor, so if you're having mental/physical issues please seek medical help in addition to reading this. :)


Feeling like a "loser", i.e. not good enough (or less than, worthless) is something that is common for a lot of people. This is also tied to shame, feeling ashamed of yourself. You can read more on the subject of shame here (Part of the FYE series): https://fallingpetalsuk.blogspot.com/2019/02/feeling-your-emotions-shame.html

Gratitude List

Things I'm grateful for this month:

First full month of spring!
Hotter weather (before it went colder again!)
Blossom trees
Going to a Katie Holland belly dance workshop
Easter
Easter chocolate!
Marks and Spencer's Belgian chocolate toffee popcorn
Amina Makhdoom's 30 Day Joy Challenge- runs live every April

LOA Round-up

I've been studying and working with the Law of Attraction (LOA) for about 9 years now. I had heard about it before then because in 2008 I started a "Vision Pad" (like a vision board and I wrote a Life List in 2009 but I didn't really get more into it until 2010, after reading The Secret by Rhonda Byrne. I started more actively working with it in 2011.

In the past year or so I haven't posted much about the Law of Attraction. I've still been interested in it and trying out techniques but I haven't felt like writing much about it. I don't have any big success stories like some people do and have often felt like a "failure" in general. In late 2017 I started my Feeling Your Emotions series and I've mostly been concentrating on that.

But I've still been interested in LOA and trying out techniques.  A few months ago I joined a local Law of Attraction Meetup group and it's been good to talk about this subject in person.

Gratitude List

Things I'm grateful for this month:

Birthday presents and birthday wishes. :)
Tesco's red velvet cake
Going to Nando's for my birthday
Anxiety course I took through Recovery College
Oestara/the Spring Equinox
Starting a bullet journalling course
Trees starting to blossom
Sunny days lately after dreary weather

Gratitude List

Things I'm grateful for this month:

Imbolg
Clock Tower 3 and Haunting Ground (PS2 games)- been re-playing them.
Buying an iTunes voucher with my Maximiles points
Ariana Grande's new album coming out
The lighter, longer days- spring is coming!
Daffodils
Amy Tan's Where the Past Begins- currently reading it
Sunny days

Feeling Your Emotions- Shame

This is the next post in the Feeling Your Emotions series. You can read the introduction post here: https://fallingpetalsuk.blogspot.com/2017/11/feeling-your-emotions-introduction.html

So far I've covered anger, sadness and depression, and fear and anxiety. Now I'm moving onto shame.

Disclaimer: I'm not a doctor, so if you're having mental/physical issues please seek medical help in addition to reading this. :)

When I first started this series I had a vague order to do it in. I started out with the more "negative" emotions. I think it makes sense to write about shame now because it's something you can also feel along with the other emotions already mentioned. For example you may feel shame for being angry, sad or scared. It's quite a heavy emotion and I felt some resistance to writing this post, but I feel it's an important subject. So let's start by looking more closely at shame. :)


What is shame?

Shame is described as "a painful feeling of humiliation and distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behaviour",  and a "regrettable or unfortunate situation or action" (Oxford English dictionary), "a painful feeling that's a mix of regret, self-hate and dishonor" (Vocabulary.com) and "a painful emotion caused by consciousness of guilt, shortcoming or impropriety" (Merriam Webster). We can feel shame ourselves due to something we've said or done (although this may be more like guilt, see below), or because we feel not good enough. We "shame" others for doing or saying something we believe is wrong, or that goes against the general rules of society and we also use phrases such as "That's a shame" when something doesn't work out as planned.

Shame is not a "core emotion". The basic emotions are said to be happiness, sadness, anger, fear, disgust and surprise. (They've been grouped further into "joy-sadness". "anger-fear", "trust-distrust" and "surprise-anticipation". In fact some people believe it's not an emotion at all but an experience, like depression and anxiety. (In this context I'll explore it as an emotion, like with depression and anxiety in my earlier posts). Read more about basic emotions here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/hide-and-seek/201601/what-are-basic-emotions

Gratitude List

Things I'm grateful for this month:

Presents I received at Christmas
Trying new products from ALDI and Lidl
Beautiful sunsets
Going to the beach- it was cold but I stayed for a bit and took some sunset pics!
Heavy Rain (PS3 game)- re-playing it currently.
Leftover Christmas chocolates and early Easter ones! lol.
New calendar and diary
New Teen Mom UK starting soon

I don't tend to post pictures with these lists but I did for the October Gratitude List, so thought it would be nice to share one of the sunset pics this month:

Sunset on Shoreham Beach.