The Love Project- Romantic Love (Relationships and Anxiety)

Back in December I did the latest post in The love Project series, on the subject of romantic love. You can read it here: http://fallingpetalsuk.blogspot.co.uk/2016/12/the-love-project-romantic-love.html

Then I wrote about feeling shame over being single. Today I want to address anxiety in relationships. As I've mentioned before I have anxiety. The main issue I have is health anxiety (HA) but I also have general anxiety and a bit of social anxiety. This can make it hard to socialise and connect with others. I'm also wary of forming relationships due to negtative past experiences with friendships and probably because of my early family life as well.


Dating with anxiety

I've not been on many dates and when I have met up with someone it was more of a friendship thing. I was extremely nervous when I did meet up with a man but at least I know I am able to do it. Going on dates is something I'd like to explore more of, so that's what I've been thinking about lately.

I recently did an online search for "dating with anxiety" and I came across a couple of useful sites. I find it helpful to see others sharing their experiences with anxiety and in particular dating with anxiety. One blog I found it called The Anxious Girl's Guide To Dating. There are some goods posts on there. Here are a couple:

https://anxiousgirlsguidetodating.com/2015/08/05/ask-what-you-want-wednesday-facing-your-fears/

https://anxiousgirlsguidetodating.com/2016/10/04/breaking-habits-we-dont-even-know-we-have

Reflections

In March I started a series of posts called Design Your Universe about the Law of Attraction. I've written one post so far and you can read it here: http://fallingpetalsuk.blogspot.co.uk/2017/03/design-your-universe-part-1.html

Since then I've been planning to carry on but I've been feeling held back in my life lately by my anxiety, in particular health anxiety. I've started the second post but it's not ready yet, so I thought I'd do this post instead. I'll write about my thoughts on creating the life of your dreams and how you can feel held back by challenges, especially mental health.

Gratitude List

Things I'm grateful for this month:

Sunny spring weather
Spending time with my boy cat. :)
McDonald's New York Stack burger
McD's new Raspberry Ripple drink
Tess Whitehurst's The Good Energy Book
Receiving a Joy Box I won during Amina Makhdoom's Joy Challenge!
Eurovision!
Doing a performance with my belly dance group BD4U


Bonus:

Winning Luna Press Publishing's' flash fiction competition! My story is Dream Time. :)

Gratitude List

Things I'm grateful for this month:

Having a new computer mouse and keyboard
Spring!
Flowers and blossom trees
Warmer weather and longer days
Easter coming up
Amina Makhdoom's Joy Challenge
Inspiring sites and blogs
Choccy eggs! lol

Design Your Universe- Part 1

Note: The title of this blog post was inspired by the symphonic metal band Epica's album!


I've had this post in mind for a while, the basic gist of it but had to put it all together. I've decided to do a series of posts, so here is the first one. :)


Designing your universe

I think this can be a good way to describe the Law of Attraction (LOA). There are other phrases such as "manifesting" and "creating your reality". For a basic explanation of the Law of Attraction you can read this post: http://fallingpetalsuk.blogspot.co.uk/2013/08/law-of-attraction.html

I first became really interested in LOA in 2010 when I read The Secret by Rhonda Byrne. Although I think I had heard of it before then because in 2008 I started a "Vision Pad" (like a vision board), and in 2009 I wrote a Life List (aka Bucket List). I started more actively working it with in 2011. I have seen my life change in some ways, I've lost weight and I am more confident than I used to be. And I have manifested smaller things like a PS3 and a BlackBerry (things that once felt quite far out of reach to me because of the price). But other stuff like a relationship and holidays to Miami and Hawaii hasn't happened (yet!). I suppose the biggest thing I manifested is being in a music video. I'd wanted that for years and in 2012 I was in my belly dance group's music video for a dance called Celtic Star. It wasn't a professional one for a band but I still count it! lol.

I wish I could say, "Here's my success story! I designed a fabulous life and here's how I did it!" lol. I can't do that but I thought it would be good to do a post/s about the process of it all, the work in progress.

When you first come to the Law of Attraction you probably do it because you want to have something (often physical, e.g. a job, a relationship, a car etc.) and/or to feel better. Then if you go deeper it starts to become more than that. I think it's about creating change from the inside and becoming the kind of person who has the life you want. We'll look at processes to help with this later on. :)

Gratitude List

Things I'm grateful for this month:

Imbolg
Hans Sloane drinking chocolate- Good for this time of year
Getting a bit of snow!
Early Easter choc, especially Cadbury's solid eggs! lol.
True movies 
Going for walks around the block
Stella Seaspirit's Own Your Witchiness Challenge starting tomorrow: http://www.stellaseaspirit.co.za/own/
Pancake Day coming up

Bonus:

Falling Petals' anniversary. It's 4 years this month since I started this blog! Check out the first post here:  http://fallingpetalsuk.blogspot.co.uk/2013/02/welcome-to-falling-petals.html

Spiritual Tools/Practices

As I mentioned in my Healing Mind and Body post I don't believe it's "essential" that you have a spiritual practice but it can certainly help to have one. I'd had the idea to do this post for a while and then I read this article by Cindie Chavez which describes how I feel about it, sometimes spiritual practices vary. Check it out here: http://www.cindiechavez.com/ebb-flow-spiritual-practice/

I find that it's no good "forcing" myself to do something every day, I just do things when I feel like it. For example, a few months ago I got more into affirmations. But in the past month or so I've stopped using them as much. I thought it would be good to share some spiritual practices and tools that I use at various times. :)

Note: You might find it useful to refer to this post on the Law of Attraction aka LOA because I'm going to be referencing LOA: http://fallingpetalsuk.blogspot.co.uk/2013/08/law-of-attraction.html



Affirmations

I briefly covered these in the basic LOA post (see above) but last September I did a more in depth post which you can read here: http://fallingpetalsuk.blogspot.co.uk/2016/09/affirmations.html

Affirmations are a manifestation technique but they're also used for raising self esteem, loving yourself and healing. I haven't been that into them in the past but found them helpful a few months ago. I created a folder of affirmations and also wrote some down in notebooks. I haven't used them much lately but think it would be good to have another go, especially since I got Louise L. Hay's book You Can Heal Your Life for Christmas (I got it last year from the library and really liked it, so I wanted it to keep). I think she was one of the first people to use affirmations for healing.

The problem with affirmations is that if you don't actually believe them it's a bit of a struggle. E.g. if you're single and lonely it's a big jump to go from that to affirming, "I am in a wonderful relationship with a loving boyfriend" or "I have a great social life".  So it might be better to say something like, "I am willing to experience a wonderful relationship with a loving boyfriend" or, "I am open to having a great social life". Kelsey Aida has a good post on this subject which inspired me: http://kelseyaida.com/theinspirationalblog/how-to-use-affirmations

And here's a post from Sarah Prout about affirmations: http://sarahprout.com/how-to-use-affirmations-to-heal-your-life