Sunday, 7 July 2019

Feeling Your Emotions- Neutral

 

This is the next post in the Feeling Your Emotions series. You can read the introduction here:
https://fallingpetalsuk.blogspot.com/2017/11/feeling-your-emotions-introduction.html

Disclaimer: I'm not a doctor, so if you're having mental/physical issues please seek medical help in addition to reading this. :)

I started this series in late 2017. So far I've covered what are deemed more "negative" emotions-  anger, sadness and depression, fear and anxiety and shame. The last post was in February, so it's been a while! As I said in the post Feeling Like a "Loser" (not part of the FYE series but kind of related), I feel that the next post should be a "neutral" one, so it's a sort of halfway point between the previous emotions, before moving onto the more "positive" ones such as happiness and love. I also mentioned the Abraham Hicks Emotional Guidance Scale, which you may have heard of if you follow the Law of Attraction (LOA). In LOA circles it's believed that it's not very easy to just "jump the scale" from something like discouragement further down on the scale) to contentment (higher up). Kelsey Aida has a good introduction to the concept which you can see here: https://kelseyaida.com/theinspirationalblog/the-abraham-hicks-emotional-guidance-scale


While I've called this series Feeling Your Emotions, I don't think I've actually covered the subject of the difference between feelings and emotions! So let's take a quick look at it here. :)

One dictionary definition of a feeling is "an emotional state or reaction", (Oxford English dictionary Merriam Webster). And of course another definition of feeling is a physical sensation. According to this Laughter Online University article, emotions are physical and instinctive, whereas feelings are mental associations that play out in our heads. An example of a physical feeling is hunger or pain, as mentioned in this Psychology Today article: https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/hide-and-seek/201412/whats-the-difference-between-feeling-and-emotion

You can also read more about the difference here: https://emotionaldetective.typepad.com/emotional-detective/2012/04/emotions-vs-feelings.html


Here is a recap of the posts in this series so far. They're the so called "negative" emotions.

Intro: https://fallingpetalsuk.blogspot.com/2017/11/feeling-your-emotions-introduction.html

Anger (Part 1): https://fallingpetalsuk.blogspot.com/2018/02/feeling-your-emotions-anger-part-1.html

Anger (Part 2): https://fallingpetalsuk.blogspot.com/2018/04/feeling-your-emotions-anger-part-2.html

Sadness and Depression (Part 1): https://fallingpetalsuk.blogspot.com/2018/07/feeling-your-emotions-sadness-and.html

Sadness and Depression (Part 2): https://fallingpetalsuk.blogspot.com/2018/08/feeling-your-emotions-sadness-and.html

Fear and Anxiety (Part 1): https://fallingpetalsuk.blogspot.com/2018/10/feeling-your-emotions-fear-and-anxiety.html

Fear and Anxiety (Part 2): https://fallingpetalsuk.blogspot.com/2018/12/feeling-your-emotions-fear-and-anxiety.html

Shame: https://fallingpetalsuk.blogspot.com/2019/02/feeling-your-emotions-shame.html

For this post I thought I'd look a little at the "in-between" place, between positive and negative. We tend to label emotions as being a good or bad thing, and sometimes we can beat ourselves up thinking that we "shouldn't" be feeling this way. But emotions are natural. So while I'm still calling them "positive" and "negative" to categorise them for this series, I'm definitely not saying that it's wrong or bad to feel any type of emotion. :)

Before I move on to "neutral", here's a video by Kajal Pandey about negative emotions and how to handle them: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXpaJfo-sVc

If you've been working through some difficult things (doing self help/personal development work, having therapy to cope with mental health conditions such as depression etc.), you may find yourself in what Melody Fletcher (who wrote the LOA book Deliberate Receiving)  calls "the void". Here's a post explaining about it: https://melodyfletcher.com/2012/06/10/managing-the-void-when-you-seem-to-feel-nothing/

Melody is talking about it in the context of the Law of Attraction. If you're not familiar with it visit these links for more:

My basic guide to LOA: https://fallingpetalsuk.blogspot.com/2013/08/law-of-attraction.html

Melody's LOA intro: https://melodyfletcher.com/law-of-attraction/

However it can apply in different situations. In the article Melody explains that you may have had a lot of resistance about something and you begin working on feeling better, so then you let the resistance go. E.g. you had a belief that you were unattractive and nobody would ever want you, or that you weren't good at your job. But you start to feel better and you let your old beliefs go. Then you might be stuck in "the void" because you've shifted a lot of energy and there's an empty space before the different beliefs kick in, and you adjust to the new reality. An example I would give for myself is that I've had anxiety for a long time, so if I was able to shift that and start feeling significantly better for a longer period of time, I may find myself in a void state while I adjusted to the new way of thinking and being. Like "Who am I without all this constant anxiety?"

At least that's how I understand it. Read the post for a more in depth explanation and ways to manage how you're feeling. :)

Dominee of Blessing Manifesting has a post about feeling listless and that nothing appeals. She calls it "the mehs". Check it out here: https://www.blessingmanifesting.com/2016/05/the-mehs.html/

She also has a post about how positive life changes can sometimes hurt because you're "detoxing": https://www.blessingmanifesting.com/2018/01/detoxing-positive-life-changes-hurt.html/

This is a good article by Suzanne Heyn, about not being afraid to feel your negative emotions and using them to guide you to healing: https://suzanneheyn.com/negative-emotions-experiences/

The idea that feeling negatively causes bad things to happen is something that bothers me, especially since I have health anxiety! But also suppressing emotions can hurt you (as I mentioned briefly in the FYE intro post), so I believe that the best thing to do it allow yourself to feel them. Happiness is seen as the "ultimate goal" (or one of them), but as I said in the 2nd Sadness and Depression post, we need to know it's ok to feel sad. We don't have to feel happy all the time. Here is a good post on the subject of how it's ok to not be positive all the time: https://www.itslaurenvictoria.co.uk/ok-not-positive-time/

It's also possible to have two contradictory emotions such as sadness and happiness. Here's a brief post that sums it up: https://www.michelleelman.com/2018/06/05/you-can-have-two-contradictory-emotions/

Now here are a few more links about emotions:

How emotions affect your body: https://healthandnaturallife.com/body/how-your-emotions-affect-your-body/

SIO post on how to feel your emotions: https://stronginsideout.com/how-to-feel-emotions/

Dealing with repressed emotions: http://www.pathwaytohappiness.com/happiness/2016/08/17/repressed-emotions/

Becoming the holder of your emotions: https://www.thegoddessspace.com/single-post/2018/01/10/Become-the-Holder-of-Your-Emotions

Beginners guide to manging your emotions (in the context of reacting to an event or person:
https://sweetcleanliving.com/how-manage-emotions/

Emotional self care: https://www.blessingmanifesting.com/2012/05/emotional-self-care.html/

Healing your emotional wounds and triggers: https://lightloveandspirit.com/heal-emotional-wounds-and-triggers/


Hope that was helpful. :) Next I will move on to emotions deemed as positive, probably going to start with happiness. I felt like the "heavier" subjects needed some breathing space so they could be processed first. You may also be interested in the Feeling Like a "Loser" post I wrote in May: https://fallingpetalsuk.blogspot.com/2019/05/feeling-like-loser.html

Hope you're enjoying the series so far and look out for the next post in the coming months. :)


Photo: Buckingham Park, Shoreham-by-sea. Moonsparke 2017.

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