Sunday, 26 August 2018

Feeling Your Emotions- Sadness and Depression (Part 2)


This is the latest post in my Feeling Your Emotions series. So far I've looked at Anger and Sadness and Depression. You can read the Introduction post here: https://fallingpetalsuk.blogspot.com/2017/11/feeling-your-emotions-introduction.html

I split Sadness and Depression into two parts. Last month I did the first part which you'll find at this link: https://fallingpetalsuk.blogspot.com/2018/07/feeling-your-emotions-sadness-and.html

Now here is Part 2. :)

Disclaimer: I'm not a doctor, so if you're having mental/physical issues please seek medical help in addition to reading this. :)


Last time I looked at sadness and depression in general. In this post I'm going to be focusing on feeling better and healing. As I mentioned in Part 1, the focus is on healing depression, since sadness is a natural state that we all feel at some point. But I'm also talking about feeling better in general as well.


Self harm and suicide

Note: I'm discussing quite sensitive subjects, so please read with caution if you feel you may be triggered. :)

Important: If you are feeling suicidal here are some links to where you can find people qualified to help you right now:

http://lostallhope.com/help-me


UK/UK and Ireland specific:

Samaritans: https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help-you/contact-us

NHS links (UK based): https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/suicide/ 

Childline (for children and young people): https://www.childline.org.uk/info-advice/your-feelings/mental-health/suicide/


Australia and New Zealand:  https://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/getting-help/emergency

US and UK: https://psychcentral.com/lib/telephone-hotlines-and-help-lines/


International:

http://ibpf.org/resource/list-international-suicide-hotlines

https://www.befrienders.org/other-helpline-organisations

https://www.nowmattersnow.org/help-line

https://metanoia.org/suicide/



Self harm and suicide are seen as quite "taboo" subjects but I think as a society we need to talk about them more. When some people are depressed they feel like they just can't hold it all inside, and turn to self harm as a way to let the feelings out. (This will not be the same for everyone, but it is my experience and some people feel similarly). There is a difference between self harming to let the pain out and suicide attempts. Not everyone who harms themselves is trying to commit suicide. You can read more at the links below:

https://www.childline.org.uk/info-advice/your-feelings/self-harm/self-harm/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/teen-angst/201210/understanding-suicide-and-self-harm

http://www.healthtalk.org/young-peoples-experiences/depression-and-low-mood/depression-self-harm-suicidal-feelings


And here are a few more links with help and advice if you're self harming or feeling like you want to:

Aimed at children/young people https://www.childline.org.uk/info-advice/your-feelings/self-harm/

Provides an online programme for young people aged 14-18 (UK based):
https://www.selfharm.co.uk/get-information/the-facts/recovering-from-self-harm

https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/publications/truth-about-self-harm

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/anxiety/cutting-and-self-harm.htm



A few years ago I did a short post about depression and suicide, just linking to a couple of other sites. You can read it here: https://fallingpetalsuk.blogspot.com/2013/09/depression-and-suicide.html

I'm going to link to the Ryze post again here because I think it's helpful if you've been having suicidal thoughts: http://ryzeonline.com/dirty-soul-words/*

Jason (JRyze who runs the site) also has another post on the same subject: https://jryze.me/suicide-answers/

And here are some posts about suicide:

https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help-you/what-speak-us-about/signs-you-may-be-struggling-cope/myths-about-suicide

https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/a-to-z/s/suicide

Post about coping when your loved one has committed suicide (Law of Attraction based): https://melodyfletcher.com/2014/08/28/when-your-loved-one-commits-suicide/

https://lonerwolf.com/suicide/

http://suzanneheyn.com/on-suicide-mental-illness-and-a-fed-up-society/

http://www.servingjoyfully.com/2014/08/22/infographic-9-vital-answers-about-depression-and-suicide/

Melody Fletcher from Deliberate Receiving also has a good post about why suicide rates are rising and a solution: https://melodyfletcher.com/2018/07/01/why-are-suicide-rates-rising-a-solution/

Her blog is about the Law of Attraction (LOA). For more information on that check out this post: https://fallingpetalsuk.blogspot.com/2013/08/law-of-attraction.html

Melody's suggestion is getting in touch with our emotions and having an emotional education. I agree with this, I think it's very important to not suppress our emotions, because bottling them up leads to things such as depression and anxiety. I personally am not someone who finds it easy to express their emotions to others, especially verbally. I feel embarrassed crying in front of others and I don't think I'm a particularly demonstrative person. But I find it a lot easier writing about things. So if you too find it hard to talk about your feelings, you may find it easier to write about them instead. You could try journalling, blogging, or even just writing short notes to yourself. :)



Feeling better/healing

I don't feel that I can actually provide a list of steps or anything to healing, but I'll share some useful links and resources. :) Something that may help though is just acknowledging and allowing yourself to feel your sadness. As I said in Part 1, we may feel sad for many reasons- relationship, health or career problems, death of a family member, pet or friends, things aren't working out how we hoped, we feel persecuted or marginalised due to our race, gender, sexuality etc. (something that can also lead to anger), or just the state of the world in general. So we need to know that it's ok to feel sad. We don't have to be happy all the time. I actually do feel slightly jealous of people who say they're happy all the time (may look at jealousy in a future post!) and wonder if it's even possible. Perhaps it is for them and not me. Boni Lonnsburry has a post on staying happy and I do find it inspiring. I'm planning to do a post on happiness later in this series and I'll look more at this subject then.


Here's an article from Loner Wolf about just "sitting with" your sadness (relating particularly to empaths and sensitive people but I think it's helpful for anyone): https://lonerwolf.com/sadness-sensitive-person/

I also like this Suzanne Heyn post about feeling your feelings and using them to create something: http://suzanneheyn.com/how-to-transmute-sadness-anger-into-passion/

I can relate to that because I find writing helps me, both writing stories and journalling. On that subject, this is a post I did coming up 4 years ago about "raising your vibration", a LOA term which basically means feeling better: https://fallingpetalsuk.blogspot.com/2014/10/raising-my-vibration.html

I wrote about some things which help me feel better, such as self help, reading, writing and music. I also have a similar post called Healing Tools.

Right now I think that life is cyclical (that's my current viewpoint), like the seasons, and we go up and down, through cycles. Although some of us seem to have more downs than ups. Please note I'm not referring to bipolar disorder here, just the natural cycles of life. But I did touch briefly on it in Part 1 and provided some links to more information.


Moving on to depression:

Depression is more complicated because it's more of a long term condition, as discussed in Part 1. (Rather than a natural feeling state). The most important thing is to be getting some kind of help from a professional- doctor (GP, psychologist, psychiatrist), other kind of therapist etc. I have seen therapists in the past and this year I've participated in several groups at a local mental health resource centre. I'm also currently taking antidepressants. I'm not qualified to help anyone, so as I said in the disclaimer, please also seek help from a medical professional. :)

This is a good post about the basics of self care, because sometimes that's all you can manage: https://www.siobhanjohnson.com/the-scary-side-to-self-care/

You may also turn to energy therapies, shamans etc. depending on your beliefs and culture. I follow the Law of Attraction but I've yet to find an LOA technique that actually helps me properly deal with depression, OCD and anxiety. It does help me a bit though. I've also used general self help techniques and it helps me to study magic/witchcraft and celebrate the seasons.

Here are a couple of posts from LOA bloggers on the subject of depression:

Melody on feeling better: https://melodyfletcher.com/2014/02/06/dear-loa-how-can-i-feel-better-when-life-has-been-kicking-me-in-the-teeth/

Kelsey's story of healing from dysthymia or PDD: https://kelseyaida.com/theinspirationalblog/how-i-healed-myself-from-depression?rq=depression

Melody also has some suggestions for moving out of depression in her book Deliberate Receiving (Chapter 11) in the context of moving up the emotional scale.

Another thing I've been learning about this year is how food affects your mental health (as well as physical health), after taking a Food and Mood course earlier this year. In my Mid-2018 Reflections post I shared a couple of links on that subject:

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/tips-for-everyday-living/food-and-mood/#.W4Lk7cInYdV

https://www.mindcharity.co.uk/wellbeing-article/food-and-mood/



Finally here are a few more general links:

https://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/articles/depression

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/depression/

On depression, anxiety and anger:  https://jim-robinson.co.uk/depression-anxiety/


http://www.liveinthemoment.org/how-to-deal-with-depression/

https://www.thediaryofanempath.com/recentposts/2016/10/23/why-my-lows-arent-as-low-anymore

http://www.servingjoyfully.com/depression/

About managing depression naturally: https://www.blessingmanifesting.com/2017/08/manage-depression-naturally.html/


Summing it up

Ok, I hope that has helped, even a bit, or you've found one of the links useful.  Sadness is a natural state and it's fine to let ourselves feel it. Holding it inside can lead to depression. There's a saying, "Feel it to heal it" that I've come across in recent years. I think there are too many of us who've bottled up our emotions because they're seen as "bad" or "wrong", or because subjects such as mental illness, self harm and suicide are seen as taboo. I hope this post has helped a little. :)

There's more I could share but this has turned into a long post already, so I'll leave it here. You can find some helpful articles under Mental Health in the Websites and Books section on the Resources page here, and under Healing and Mental Health on the Helpful Articles Library page here, or in the sidebar on the main page of the blog.

The next subject will be Fear and Anxiety, and I may split that one up into two posts as well.

Read the rest of the posts in the Feeling Your Emotions series here:

Intro: https://fallingpetalsuk.blogspot.com/2017/11/feeling-your-emotions-introduction.html

Anger (Part 1): https://fallingpetalsuk.blogspot.com/2018/02/feeling-your-emotions-anger-part-1.html

Anger (Part 2): https://fallingpetalsuk.blogspot.com/2018/04/feeling-your-emotions-anger-part-2.html

Sadness and Depression (Part 1): https://fallingpetalsuk.blogspot.com/2018/07/feeling-your-emotions-sadness-and.html


Update 11/9/18: Added a summary.

*12/4/19: Site now gone.

Photo: Buckingham Park, Shoreham-by-sea. Moonsparkle 2017/18.


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