Monday, 5 June 2017

The Love Project- Romantic Love (Relationships and Anxiety)

Back in December I did the latest post in The love Project series, on the subject of romantic love. You can read it here: http://fallingpetalsuk.blogspot.co.uk/2016/12/the-love-project-romantic-love.html

Then I wrote about feeling shame over being single. Today I want to address anxiety in relationships. As I've mentioned before I have anxiety. The main issue I have is health anxiety (HA) but I also have general anxiety and a bit of social anxiety. This can make it hard to socialise and connect with others. I'm also wary of forming relationships due to negtative past experiences with friendships and probably because of my early family life as well.


Dating with anxiety

I've not been on many dates and when I have met up with someone it was more of a friendship thing. I was extremely nervous when I did meet up with a man but at least I know I am able to do it. Going on dates is something I'd like to explore more of, so that's what I've been thinking about lately.

I recently did an online search for "dating with anxiety" and I came across a couple of useful sites. I find it helpful to see others sharing their experiences with anxiety and in particular dating with anxiety. One blog I found it called The Anxious Girl's Guide To Dating. There are some goods posts on there. Here are a couple:

https://anxiousgirlsguidetodating.com/2015/08/05/ask-what-you-want-wednesday-facing-your-fears/

https://anxiousgirlsguidetodating.com/2016/10/04/breaking-habits-we-dont-even-know-we-have





I've recently been doing some journalling exploring my fears (inspired by the first post) and plan to look at my relationship patterns and habits (as suggested in the second post). I have looked at my patterns before but I think it will be good to have another look.



This is also another good article that I found through the Anxious Girl site: https://themighty.com/2016/10/to-people-with-anxiety-who-think-they-cant-date/

Something I've been doing recently is writing down all the things I believe are blocking me from moving forward in my love life. You might like to try it if you're experiencing similar issues. I'm still adding to the list at the moment and I'll look back over it later. Even something as simple as that can help to shift things. In fact I have felt a shift about what is possible for me lately.




Being in a relationship with anxiety

Once you're in a relationship you can face some different challenges. If you have anxiety and you're already in a relationship you might like to read those posts for some advice:


http://www.heysigmund.com/anxiety-and-intimate-relationships-how-to-stop-anxiety-from-stealing-the-magic/

https://www.myhealth.london.nhs.uk/managing-anxiety-depression-relationships

 https://themighty.com/2017/03/anxiety-relationship-help/


And if you're on the other side and you're dating someone who has anxiety, you may find this post useful: https://www.talkspace.com/blog/2017/02/dating-someone-with-anxiety-what-you-need-to-know-and-do/



I hope this post was helpful to people in a similar situation.  (Or supporting somebody in one). :) I may write more about this subject in the future. If you have anxiety then check out these links below:


For more on HA:

http://fallingpetalsuk.blogspot.co.uk/2016/10/healing-health-anxiety-part-1.html

http://fallingpetalsuk.blogspot.co.uk/2016/10/healing-health-anxiety-part-1.html


Anxiety in general:

http://fallingpetalsuk.blogspot.co.uk/2014/12/anxiety-resources.html

http://theinspirationlady.com/ways-manage-anxiety/

https://anxiousgirlsguidetodating.com/2015/04/09/getting-to-the-bottom-of-things-how-core-beliefs-can-drive-anxiety/



And don't forget you can visit these pages any time on the blog by clicking on the links on the sidebar:

Resources: http://fallingpetalsuk.blogspot.co.uk/p/resources.html

Helpful Articles Library: http://fallingpetalsuk.blogspot.co.uk/p/ive-been-into-self-help-since-i-was.html

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